If I was to ask you:

What are the biggest challenges to life balance?

What would be the first reasons that come to mind?

It’s OK, you can take a minute or two to think about this…

What’s holding YOU back from leading a balanced life?

I’m willing to bet good (Monopoly) money that “lack of time” and “lack of money” made an appearance on your list, if not a prominent one.

But there’s an important obstacle to life balance that we tend to overlook and, therefore, don’t overcome.

And that obstacle is… friction.

Before we look at ways to remove friction from our lives, let’s consider why friction arises in the first place.

Why Do We Experience Friction?

Friction occurs when our life areas aren’t properly aligned with each other, or the activities we do within a single life area don’t serve a common purpose.

To make progress in life, you need to define what success means in each life area, and what it means for your life, in general.

If your goals clash, or you’re not acting in ways to reach your goals, then you will experience friction.

Suppose, for example, you hold the Spiritual belief that money is the root of all evil, yet success in your Professional life area means that you make money to support the lifestyle you want. Your Spiritual belief will either stop you from reaching your Professional goal, or you’ll experience guilt for the success you achieve in your Professional life area.

That’s friction.

You’re unable to enjoy and build on your Professional success because you’re making Spiritual compromises.

Every step forward in your Professional life area brings you a step (or two) back in your Spiritual life area.

While your financial wealth grows, your soul shrinks.

Not because money is evil, but because you believe it’s evil, and the contradiction between how you define success in your Spiritual and Professional life areas causes friction that undermines your overall well-being and your ability to experience life balance.

This is a common conflict many people experience, and there are many more common and uncommon ways in which we experience conflict and, therefore, friction in our lives.

Do you find it difficult to make sense of your Spiritual beliefs, because you hold many Intellectual objections to them?

That’s friction.

Do your Recreational activities involve eating junk food in front of the TV, yet you want to lose weight and achieve Physical health, at the same time?

That’s friction.

Do you recognize your Psychological needs to care for yourself and your emotional well-being, yet ignore these needs and make continuous compromises to strengthen Social ties?

That’s friction.

You can experience friction between all your life areas (and within them), and it’s this friction that can greatly undermine your efforts to lead a balanced life.

So…

How Can We Align Our Life Areas?

I’m glad I asked!

Below are 3 simple tips you can use to align your life areas, and remove the friction that’s holding you back.

1- Explicitly define your goals:

What do you consider “success” in each life area?

To know where your life areas clash, you need to explicitly define what your goals are for each life area. You might be able to notice obvious contradictions, as soon as you write your goals down.

It helps to visualize success in each life area. If you were Spiritually successful, what would your life look like? If you were Intellectually successful, how would you behave? Go through all the life areas, and spell out what would make them successful.

Remember, you want to consider all life areas: Spiritual, Intellectual, Psychological, Social, Professional, Recreational, and Physical.

You will also need to define what life success is, and what it looks like. That is, what would make your entire life successful? What do you want your life to look like, and what would you like to accomplish in your lifetime?

Look out for ways your life goals clash with your goals in each life area, and possible ways your goals within each life area may clash.

Once you have your goals defined, you can think of ways to adjust your goals (or completely drop some of them) so that you would no longer live with contradictions between your goals.

2- Listen to your emotions:

The best indicators of friction are your emotions. While you might be able to overlook contradictions on an intellectual/conscious level, your emotions tend to point out that there’s something wrong in your system (even if they can’t figure out what the problem is).

This is why intuition can play an important role in your life.

By listening to your emotions, and being aware of any feelings of discomfort that can be attributed to inner conflicts, you’ll be able to acknowledge the existence of friction, and use your emotions as a guide to where the friction might exist.

You can ask yourself: How do I feel about this goal/activity? Why do I feel this way about it?

You’d be surprised by what you can uncover with this approach!

3- Figure out what’s holding you back:

While procrastination is commonly blamed on the fear of failure, the issue is a bit more complicated than that.

I can’t go through all the reasons for why we resort to procrastination, but one of the strongest reasons is friction.

If you don’t believe a task you want to do (e.g. putting ads on your site) is right, then you’ll put it off to avoid acting against your own values. The solution might not be to remove the task from your agenda, but to dig deeper to find out whether it is the right thing to do or not. Not just professionally, but morally, as well.

You don’t have to follow popular Professional practices. You need to check in with your own Spiritual principles, and make sure the practices don’t conflict with the principles. Either the practice is wrong, or your principle is wrong (or wrongly applied).

You might think that ads on your site are annoying to your readers when, in fact, your readers might appreciate knowing about products and services they would not have found out about.

Whenever you don’t feel inclined to get a task done, a likely reason can be that there’s a goal that is tugging you in a different direction.

Ask yourself: What’s holding me back from doing this? What do I think about it? Do I feel comfortable doing this?

You can discover areas of friction by being aware of the issues you don’t feel comfortable facing, or when you get “stuck” and don’t know what’s holding you back.

Personal Growth Advice Can Be Simple, But Not Necessarily Easy

I went through a time in my life where I ignored my emotions so much, to the extent that I became numb to them. I wouldn’t be able to answer “how do you feel?” with any depth. You might experience some difficulty with these tips, but I believe they are useful guidelines to work with, and they encourage you to learn important life skills.

Give them a try, even if they prove to be difficult at first. Removing friction in your life is a worthwhile investment you shouldn’t overlook.

If you have any tips to add, or questions to raise, the comments section is at your disposal!

Photo credit: –Mike–

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You may have noticed that I haven’t blogged for a long time now.

Well, I have a confession to make…

Before I became a personal growth writer, I was a reader (and still am!). I seek solutions in the personal growth literature available so I can tackle the problems I face in my life. And while I’ve spent a lot of time, energy and money seeking results, I haven’t always gotten the results I want.

What’s worse is that some problems were amplified after getting into personal growth!

I am sure you went through a similar experience: You are overwhelmed by the challenges life throws at you, so you turn to personal growth for solutions, only to feel overwhelmed by the amount of solutions available!

You don’t know where to begin, what to use, how to use it, what to trust, etc.

Your problems multiply and grow in complexity.

That’s not the result personal growth literature was designed to bring into our lives. But in many causes – and to varying degrees – it does.

The worst hit by these problems are those who are in need of personal growth the most!

If you are able to cope effectively with life’s challenges and are simply looking for better ways to lead your life, you are slightly immune from the problems that can germinate in the field of personal growth. But the more help you need, the more help you will need after being exposed to personal growth!

By now you must’ve figured out my dark secret: I’m not the biggest fan of personal growth.

To be clear: I’m not the biggest fan of the material available, and how it seems to ignore the problems being caused by it.

As a personal growth writer I would like to help others deal effectively with their problems without burdening them with more problems. And I can’t honestly say that up to this point I haven’t contributed to the problem. I have. Quite possibly with every blog post or comment I’ve written.

This is why I went on a break, trying to figure out how to offer solutions without any negative side effects.

If you have been eagerly waiting to learn more about the Personal Growth Map, I sincerely apologize for my silence. I promise that I will offer you more information. In fact, I came up with the PGM in order to tackle the growing problems in personal growth!

For us to work together to tackle the problems being posed by personal growth – which are impacting us all – I would like you to leave a comment on this post with what problems you’ve personally faced after being exposed to personal growth literature. Whether it’s overwhelm, procrastination, confusion, anxiety, etc. I’d love to hear from you so we can begin our journey by admitting there are problems in personal growth that need to be addressed and that we won’t be going for solutions that build on these problems instead of destroying them.

The most important spot on your Personal Growth Map is the “You Are Here” spot. Find out where that is so you can begin experiencing real results!

I look forward to your comments

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To make the most use of the Personal Growth Map, it’s important that you have a proper understanding of each life area and what subjects go under it. But given the fact that each life area has a huge scope, this post won’t get into the details of what’s exactly included in that area. It simply gives a brief definition and explanation you can use to help you categorize your interests and activities under these life areas.

Before we look at the life areas individually, bear in mind that there is some overlap between the life areas. In most cases, which life area a subject belongs to depends on the focus you approach the subject with. For example, thinking is an Intellectual matter. Looking at how to change your thinking to change your emotions is a Psychological matter.

Spiritual

As human beings, we don’t want to simply know the What, but seek to answer the Why. We’re not content with living. We want to know what the meaning of life is. We don’t want to acquire fragments of the puzzle. We want to know what the picture is.

Attempts to understand the world and our place in it, and to form a comprehensive view of existence are spiritual endeavors. Both philosophy and theology try to explain the fundamental nature of reality and they can help us form a spiritual (i.e. big picture) understanding of the world.

The focus of spirituality is beliefs.

Examples of things that fall under this life area: religious observances, reading scripture, beliefs (about the existence of God, the meaning of life, life after death, the law of attraction, etc), ethical values, world peace, humanism, volunteer work, life philosophy.

Intellectual

Your ability to learn, your memory, the way you reason and all cognitive processes (e.g. analyzing) belong to your Intellectual life area.

In this life area we seek to refine our ability to acquire information, develop our understanding and to enrich our minds with knowledge that can serve us in life.

The focus of the intellect is knowledge.

Examples of things that fall under this life area: accelerated learning, study skills, mind-mapping, speed-reading, memory, reasoning and any reading done to acquire information that’s not directly related to making money (which is Professional) and is not done for pleasure (which is Recreational).

Psychological

Our emotions are influenced by many factors. This life area looks at these factors and how we can develop the emotions that support us in life. If fear is holding us back, we need to know how to rid ourselves of this fear (or to use it in order to move forward, rather than backward).

The focus of psychology is emotions.

Examples of things that fall under this life area are: therapy, neuro-linguistic programming (NLP), journaling, coping with guilt, fear, aging, past experiences, as well as fostering positive emotions, such as happiness, excitement, etc.

Social

The way we relate to other human beings – be they parents, siblings, spouse, children, friends, colleagues, strangers – defines our Social life. In order to foster healthy relationships, it’s important to understand what such relationships involve, and how to avoid conflicts with others.

The focus of our social life is relationships.

Examples of things that fall under this life area are: parenthood, making friends, starting conversations, public speaking, etc.

Professional

Your ability to make money is covered by your Professional life area. You might think that your job is about contributing value to others, but you can do that through volunteer work. Your professional success is determined by the reward you get for the value you provide. It’s very important that you recognize the end result you expect out of your professional endeavors. Otherwise, you won’t have food on the table or a way to pay your bills.

Handling your finances is also tied to this life area, because it determines how much money you end up having.

The focus of your professional life is money.

Examples of things that fall under this life area are: business skills, marketing, customer service, professional skills, business projects, productivity, organization, professional competence.

Recreational

Any activity you do that is intended for relaxation, refreshment and pleasure falls under this life area.

The focus of recreation is fun.

Examples of things that fall under this life area are: reading novels, watching movies, playing video games, going on holiday, stamp collecting, painting, getting a massage, sports.

Physical

Anything related to your body and its well-being falls under this life area.

The focus of your physical life is health.

Examples of things that fall under this life area are: dieting, nutrition, exercise, hygiene, body-building, stamina, strength training.

The importance of each life area, and how it relates to other life areas will be covered in future posts. Use the explanations above when trying to categorize your activities, reading list, projects, etc. to ensure that you are paying attention to every life area, without neglecting any area of your life.

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I’ve been putting off introducing the Personal Growth Map for some time now, mainly because I haven’t figured out a comprehensive way of presenting both the theory and the practice in a way that allows you to apply it fully into your life.

But from personal experience, a handful of the principles behind the Personal Growth Map can lead to very positive changes in your life. This post will not cover everything there is to cover about the Personal Growth Map. It will simply clarify what the Personal Growth Map is about and what to expect out of it.

Before I introduce the Personal Growth Map, it’s important to first be clear on what the purpose of the Personal Growth Map is and what problems it’s intended to address.

The Purpose

It’s very easy to experience disappointment in a personal growth approach (or anything for that matter) when it doesn’t live up to our expectations. However, it is possible that we apply a solution to a problem it’s not designed to address. If we’re thirsty, eating the most delicious food will only add to the problem. No amount of food can do what a glass of water can do. If we’re hungry, no amount of water in the world can compensate for a loaf of bread.

Therefore, it’s important that the purpose of the Personal Growth Map is clear in your mind before you develop expectations that it’s not designed to satisfy.

The Personal Growth Map has two ultimate aims:

1) To make life balance achievable

2) To make personal growth much easier and less overwhelming

With these two aims in mind, we can now look at the Personal Growth Map and see how it can help you experience life balance and greater personal growth!

The Personal Growth Map

Many personal growth enthusiasts struggle to achieve life balance. In fact, the growing interest surrounding productivity literature stems from the need to get work done in order to make room for other areas of our lives, such as our families and our hobbies. And while people are concerned about achieving life balance, most of them struggle to identify what they’re trying to balance! The common opinion is that they are trying to balance between work and family time.

The Personal Growth Map recognizes SEVEN life areas that we need to balance! Sounds complicated? It’s actually quite simple. And that’s the beauty of the Personal Growth Map: It’s simple, not simplistic.

It doesn’t try to reduce the complexity of life to the point where we gloss over the important details. It identifies our needs as human beings more accurately, so that we can better satisfy those needs.

The seven life areas are:

(1) Spiritual

(2) Intellectual

(3) Psychological

(4) Social

(5) Professional

(6) Recreational

(7) Physical

When we speak of life balance, it’s important to recognize our needs in these seven life areas, and to give each life area some care and attention. You can now see that trying to balance work and family life only covers two out of the seven life areas. That’s not real balance, is it? In fact, our social needs extend beyond family life, so we’re not even fully acknowledging that need!

And this is why life balance is such a pain: when we do not acknowledge and satisfy all our needs, we cannot perform at our best.

Therefore, it’s essential that we consider all the seven life areas, without neglecting any one of them.

And if you think that you cannot achieve life balance today, think again! The truth is, you cannot live without life balance!

How is that?

Suppose you are concentrating on advancing your career at the moment. However, most of the time you feel sluggish and unable to focus on your work. You might conclude that you need to familiarize yourself with productivity techniques and a new work approach. But that usually isn’t the case. The problem could very well stem from health issues. In other words, the limitations you are experiencing at work are caused by you neglecting your health! By eating the right foods and doing moderate exercise you will be able to advance your professional life!

Not only can life areas set limitations on each other, but they can also offer opportunities. How many people advanced their professional lives because of social relations they fostered? If you don’t make time for a social life, you could be shunning many, many opportunities to catapulting your career to a new level! How many people have experienced a complete transformation in their entire lives simply by changing some of their spiritual beliefs?

Life is meant to be lived in balance. Every life area is important, and if we neglect any one of them, we will be experiencing a deficiency that can impact our entire lives. This is why life balance should never be postponed or neglected.

If you’re now thinking: “I don’t have time for two life areas, let alone seven!” then you’re in for a treat

Life balance isn’t about balancing time: In fact, time is a minor factor in the equation. What’s important is doing something – anything – to advance each life area, even if it doesn’t take much time to do! If you work eight-hour days, it doesn’t mean you have to exercise for eight hours a day! Small adjustments to your diet and routine can help you advance your health and allow you to experience the benefits you need to move your life forward. The simplest example I can think of is smiling more often. This will make it easier to develop better social relations, because it makes you more pleasant and approachable.

Life areas can be combined through a single activity: Life areas aren’t mutually exclusive. Just because you are spending time with your family doesn’t mean that all other life areas are on stand by. Some activities can offer benefits that span several life areas and, therefore, can help you satisfy your needs in those areas, without having to schedule different activities. For example, instead of going to the gym to exercise, you can play football with your friends. That activity, alone, can help you advance your social, recreational and physical life areas! The possible combinations are endless! And you can use them to achieve life balance without having to worry about not having enough time!

And how will the Personal Growth Map make personal growth less overwhelming?

The Personal Growth Map acts as a super-structure to personal growth. I’m sure you noticed that there are 101 subjects (if not more!) that are categorized under personal growth. Trying to read up on all of them is tedious and overwhelming. But by grouping them under the seven life areas on the Personal Growth Map, we can focus on only one subject from each life area in order to advance in that life area. Using the simple layout of the Personal Growth Map will help to better manage our personal growth and avoid taking on more than we can handle (which usually compromises our life balance as well).

What Now?

There’s obviously a lot more to mention about the Personal Growth Map, life balance and personal growth. But this doesn’t mean that you can’t start using the Personal Growth Map today!

Follow these simple steps to begin experiencing more balance and control in your life!

1) Come up with ways you can advance each life area: For each life area (and starting with Spiritual), list all the possible ways you know of on how to advance that life area. Look around your house for things you can use, find websites that can provide you with information in that area, consider the people you can get in touch with and any activity that can help move that life area forward.

2) Come up with activities you enjoy that combine life areas: Think of ways you can combine life areas with a single activity. You can organize an informal book club (combines intellectual – social – recreational), arrange football matches (social – recreational – physical), play Frisbee with your family in the park (social – recreational – physical) instead of watching TV together (social – recreational). The possibilities are endless, so get creative!

3) Select a list of activities you can start doing today that cover all life areas: The options available are many, and you can’t possibly fit them all in your schedule. So select the options you would like to go for starting today. Make sure that you cover all the life areas!

I will be providing you with many more details, resources and suggestions on how to use the Personal Growth Map to move your life forward! If you’re not already subscribed to the mailing list, I suggest you subscribe now either by RSS or Email!

Tell everyone you know about the Personal Growth Map, so they can start experiencing more balance and greater growth in their lives!

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