The Countdown – Day 27: The Blame Game

Excuses are a funny thing.

It’s OK, you can laugh out loud at how silly they are. I’m gonna take a few minutes to get a hearty laugh off my chest.

HAHAHA!

Not amused?

Then let me explain why they’re so funny. And I’ll do that with a story.

Meet the Characters

The characters in our story are: the “hero” (those quotation marks deserve to be there. Trust me), the villagers, the weather (yes, you read that correctly), a gang of trolls, and the baker’s daughter (who happens to be a dashing beauty).

Although the characters may sound familiar, the story is entirely different to anything you’ve seen on the big screen or read in a book, simply because it’s rather dull, annoying and doesn’t make much sense.

In fact, it’s absurdity is rather amusing. To my sense of humor, at least.

HAHA! (Oh man, I kill me sometimes!)

Now here’s the funny thing: while no self-respecting writer would ever dare write such a story of fiction, we’re living it on a day-to-day basis (but with slight modifications).

And without further delay, let’s read the story…

Once Upon A Time…

There was a strong, handsome young man, with ambitious goals and a lofty vision. He wanted to make the world a better place and leave his mark in the annals of history. He valued his own happiness, and knew that it was possible for him. Except he was too busy fighting an inner battle between his own desires and doubts.

The villagers thought he was strange. His strength was all too apparent to them, yet he wouldn’t admit it, even to himself. They knew he can accomplish great things, but he spent his days in a dark corner of his room, trying to figure out why he can’t seem to achieve anything.

One night, the baker’s daughter was taken by a gang of trolls on her way home. The villagers knew they can rely on our hero-to-be to get her back, but he didn’t share their conviction.

“How can I get her back? I don’t know where the trolls took her?”

“They left the village from the east. You can follow their trail!” came the response.

“But I don’t know how to follow trails. I’m no good at these things. You can look for someone else. Why don’t you guys do anything? Why do you have to look to me for help?”

“Look! You’re the strongest man among us. We NEED your help!” they villagers pleaded.

“But it’s too cold outside! I can’t walk too far in the cold. I might DIE!” the “hero” said, sobbing uncontrollably.

The villagers abandoned the sobbing wreck, and went out to do the best they can to bring back the baker’s daughter.

And that’s where our story ends.

The Moral of the Story

I have the urge to kick my computer screen at how annoying this story is. The hero could have looked for the baker’s daughter, or at least tried to do so.

But instead, he contented himself with the excuse that the weather was too cold.

Blaming the weather didn’t help get the baker’s daughter back. And here’s the moral of the story:

Blame never gets us to our goals.

We can feel comforted by blaming others or our circumstances, so we don’t feel responsible to take action and risk failure. But no matter who or what you blame, you don’t make any progress towards your goals.

And here’s the funny thing: When we play the blame game, we voluntarily give up control and limit our own ability to reach our goals.

As human beings, we naturally strive to expand our skills and abilities to achieve our goals and experience happiness. But blame reverses this natural pattern. It allows us to experience joy through failure, simply because we’re not held responsible for that failure.

It’s funny because it’s absurd! 😀

The Stuff of Heroes

It’s easy to tell how unheroic the “hero” of our story is. That’s because he lacks the substance of heroism.

Heroes aren’t omnipotent or omniscient beings. They can make mistakes, and often do. Their path is riddled with failures, which they need to recover from.

They do the best they can with what they have.

And, most importantly, they focus on what’s within their power to achieve their goals.

Sure the people in their lives play a part in their lives, their upbringing shapes their character in some way, and there are 101 factors beyond their control. But none of that matters. What matters to heroes is what they can do and how they can expand their abilities to reach their goals.

They aren’t interested in “blame” or “failure”, what people will say or think, or falsely conclude that they are failures simply because they have experienced failure.

They are aware of their ability to choose the actions they take, the thoughts that occupy their minds, and the emotions they cultivate.

They acknowledge their limitations, but work within them and seek to stretch them.

That’s all they can do, and that’s all that matters to them.

“People spend too much time finding other people to blame, too much energy finding excuses for not being what they are capable of being, and not enough energy putting themselves on the line, growing out of the past, and getting on with their lives.”
~ J. Michael Straczynski