From the category archives:

Personal Growth

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Update: Voting has now ended. Thanks to all who managed to vote for the proposal. I will let you know if the proposal is approved. :)

Personal growth isn’t as easy as some writers make it out to be.

But it’s not always the climb that wears us out, as much as it is the baggage we carry with us and the route we take to reach our destination.

And while personal growth may not be easy, there’s an easier way to how we are currently approaching it.

This is the message behind my manifesto: The 3 R’s of Personal Growth.

The manifesto is under development, and I’ve submitted it to ChangeThis as a proposal.

By voting for the proposal on the ChangeThis website, you will have a hand in helping me get the manifesto designed, and distributed to a much wider audience.

What’s ChangeThis?

ChangeThis is an initiative to help spread great ideas, and was inspired by Seth Godin.

Each month, ChangeThis presents a list of proposals they’ve received, and get the public to vote on the proposals they want to read.

The proposals with the highest votes will be designed and distributed by the ChangeThis team as a “living, breathing manifesto.”

For a longer description of what ChangeThis does, check out their FAQ page.

What’s the 3 R’s of Personal Growth Manifesto About?

The aim of the manifesto is to establish a foundation that helps readers make the most of the personal growth literature available to them, and offers guidelines for writers on how to make their content more useful to their readers.

Below is the description that accompanies my proposal:

Do you feel overwhelmed by all the information “out there”? Do you find the advice you’re coming across confusing? Are you feeling frustrated for not getting the results you want, after all the time, effort and money you’re putting into your own personal growth?

If so, then this manifesto could be what you’re looking for.

The abundance of personal growth information and resources has turned from a blessing into a curse. We are feeling more scattered than ever before. Trying to put everything into practice has led to a bottleneck situation where we can’t seem to get anything done without worrying about everything else at the same time.

This manifesto introduces the basics of personal growth we need to bear in mind to get the most out of what we read.

It’s a guide for readers on how best to approach personal growth literature and a call to writers to offer advice that contributes to the signal, and not add to the noise.

If the message behind the manifesto resonates with you, and you’d like to read the manifesto and help it spread, please vote for it using the following link:

Vote for the 3 R’s of Personal Growth Manifesto

I appreciate your support, and would love to hear from you in the comments section once you vote for the proposal! :D

And please spread the word to friends, family, readers, and strangers on the subway, or walking down the street. I’m sure they’d love to make a positive contribution to the world! :P

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Misleading_Traffic_Signal

The principle at the core of all personal growth (a.k.a. “self-help”) literature is:

Your life is your responsibility.

Your thoughts, your emotions, and your actions are under your control.

If you wish to grow as an individual, you must take responsibility for your success, and do what’s in your power to accomplish your goals.

This is a very liberating idea.

Rather than see yourself as the victim of circumstance and other people’s decisions, you can focus on your own abilities and the opportunities open to you to achieve happiness. People and circumstances can’t dictate how you feel. That’s a choice for you to make.

“Self-help” literature is intended to equip you with the beliefs and practices that make your life journey easier and more enjoyable.

However, it can also make things much more difficult for you.

“Self-Help” is Misleading

I’m not talking about the harms of bad advice, dangerous practices, or an unhealthy obsession with self-help books. These, and many more, are potential harms that we need to be aware of.

But what I’m talking about here is our understanding of what self-help means, and how to go about improving our lives.

The reason why self-help is misleading is that it gives the impression that you have to approach personal growth – and your life problems – on your own.

After all, you’re helping yourself out and taking responsibility for your own life, so why rely on others to do that for you?

For many years, this was an impression that was firmly ingrained in my subconscious, even though I would consciously reject it. One of my earliest posts here was about the value of coaching, but I’ve always refused to get a coach because I thought that I can – and have to – do things on my own.

It’s in the name: self-help!

But recently, I discovered what I’ve been missing out on all this time, and how getting a life coach can be a life-changing experience.

Life Coach or Magician?

Blogger and life coach Tim Brownson recently offered free life coaching for the winner of a contest he was running, and ended up picking six winners to try out his coaching at no charge.

I was one of the winners.

So far, I’ve had only 2 sessions with Tim.

They consisted of friendly chats over Skype. About how I was feeling overwhelmed with all the ideas I had for this blog (and other projects), and what I can do about being overwhelmed. Most of what we talked about I already knew, but Tim picked out a few tips for me to try out.

The result?

I hadn’t written a blog post for over 3 weeks before my first session with Tim. During the week after my first session, I wrote 3 posts!

After my second session, I wrote 2 posts and managed to complete a guide that I’ve been struggling with for over 2 months… in a week!

Since the first session, I feel much more relaxed about my work and can focus much more easily.

I still can’t quite put my finger on what Tim did, but it worked!

Interaction with a fellow human being, especially one who can understand what you’re going through and direct your awareness to the solutions you can use, is a powerful approach to self-help.

If you feel like talking to someone or getting a life coach, don’t let the name fool you: Self-help isn’t about doing things on your own.

It’s about figuring out what’s best for you and pursuing the things that can bring your life forward.

Even if it’s to ask others for help.

Have you ever felt the need to do things on your own, and ashamed to ask others for help?

Do you have any life coaching experience you’d like to share?

If so, then please leave a comment below!

Photo credit: caesararum

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A Poem to Live By

February 20, 2010

Words can have an enormous influence on the way we think, how we feel, what we value and a string of other effects that we can harness to lead a great life. Not all words or statements or poems are created equally. Some can have destructive effects and others constructive ones. All to varying degrees.
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The Natural, The Healthy and The Normal

February 18, 2010

There are three very distinct concepts that we tend to use interchangeably, while overlooking their differences. Distinct concepts don’t refer to the same thing. It should be obvious, but that, sadly, isn’t the case.
There are huge differences between what’s natural, what’s healthy and what’s normal.
If you don’t know the difference, you will in a few [...]

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Reformations & Transformations

February 15, 2010

We often hear about defining moments that completely change a person and carve out a new path for him in life. And in hearing these stories, we often hope for such miraculous moments that would usher in great change in our lives, with little effort on our part.
But change isn’t always through a transformation. We [...]

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