The Countdown – Day 25: Lower Your Expectations

Our life experiences are heavily conditioned by our expectations.

If we believe that an experience will be frightening, we’ll bring our fear into that experience, even when the circumstances haven’t triggered such a response.

Our expectations can be a result of past experiences that we project onto future ones, the impressions we hold about ourselves and how we will behave, and good ol’ fashioned ignorance.

The problem with having unrealistic expectations is that we can make a task appear much harder than it is, and avoid it at all costs, or easier than it is, and burden ourselves with work we can’t handle.

Look at the learning experiences you’re avoiding and the tasks you’re putting off. You will notice that your expectations play a major role in how you feel and, therefore, how you behave towards them.

When it comes to setting realistic resolutions you can actually stick to, it’s important that you adjust your expectations accordingly.

Lowering Your Expectations

Personal growth writers tend to advocate a “Think Big” attitude to life, and having positive expectations about what you can achieve.

But in many, many cases it’s the ridiculously unrealistic expectations we have that paralyze us and make us avoid doing anything out of fear that our experiences don’t match our expectations.

If you expect not to make any mistakes the first time you cook, for example, and that you’ll know your way around the kitchen (when you don’t), then you’ll avoid setting foot in the kitchen. That’s because somewhere in your brain you know that your expectations aren’t realistic and that you’re destined to make mistakes when you first try something new.

Admitting to yourself that you’ll make mistakes, that you’ll face setbacks, that you’ll screw up at times, that you’ll need to ask people for advice and admit your own ignorance will lift a heavy burden you’re putting on yourself as a result of the high expectations you feel obliged to fulfill.

Achieving your New Year’s resolutions won’t be a super-smooth ride. Not everything will go as planned, and you’ll need to accept that reality won’t fit your expectations as neatly as you want.

Lowering your expectations isn’t about being pessimistic, but about diffusing the pressure you put on yourself to meet unrealistic expectations.

When looking at your resolutions and the goals you set out for yourself, remind yourself that it’s “OK” to make mistakes here and there, so that you can get to see these mistakes as hurdles, and not dead ends.