If you went through yesterday’s “Ideal Life” exercise, your thoughts may have been interrupted by a nagging “but I can’t” feeling (and if you didn’t do the exercise, then I highly suggest that you do).
“I want to live in a tropical island… but I can’t.”
“I want to be a more patient father and a loving husband… but I can’t.”
“I want to be more focused while doing my work… but I can’t.”
That’s a perfectly natural response to what appear to be distant hopes. You’re aware of limitations in your own life, and want to take them into consideration while planning out your ideal life.
Such thinking can serve you well, and we’ll talk about it more in the future.
But for now, you shouldn’t be thinking of how you will create your ideal life, but what that ideal life is.
The Big But
There’s a common thread behind most of the “buts” that seek your attention while you’re trying to think about your ideal life. In fact, they’re all manifestations of a Big But that’s sabotaging the quality of your life.
And that Big But is…
**drum roll**
You’ll find out after the break!
…
**Commercial break**
…
And we’re back!
Where were we? Oh, yes.
The Big But.
That Big But is… YOU!
That’s right, you’re willing to abandon many of your desires and dreams because you believe you’re not capable of achieving them.
It could be because you can’t (given your characteristics or abilities) or that you don’t deserve them (given what you were brought up to think, or based on your religious beliefs).
“I’m unworthy… I’m too stupid… I’m so clumsy… I’m inexperienced… I’m too shy… I’m such a loser…”
The impressions we have about ourselves shape who we are and the sort of lifestyle we lead.
The reason why you’re living the life you’re living is influenced heavily by what you think about yourself.
What makes pursuing your dreams seem impossible also comes down to your impressions of who you are.
For the “Ideal Life” exercise to be carried out properly, you need to overlook your own impressions about yourself.
Imagine yourself behaving in the way you want to behave.
See yourself speaking and acting in the way you want to speak and act.
Imagine what that will feel like.
Again, don’t worry too much about feasibility at the moment.
You simply want to be clear about what your ideal life is like.
The “Ideal Life” exercise is so important that it deserves another day to think about.
So give it some more thought and notice how it makes you feel.
I’ll be here tomorrow for another update…
If you’re facing any problems with the exercise (e.g. you can’t seem to focus properly), or aren’t clear about something or the other, then express your concerns in the comments section, and I’ll do my best to guide you through the exercise.