The Countdown – Day 13: Hypothetically Thinking

My wife (a.k.a. the wifey) once presented me with this hypothetical scenario:

Suppose you are a waiter at a restaurant.

There are two women, one fat and the other skinny, sitting at a table. You were asked to take a Pepsi and a Diet Pepsi to them.

Who would you offer the Diet Pepsi to?

Making assumptions about people’s dietary choices based on their body size can be offensive, but I was quick to answer: “I’d ask them: ‘Who ordered the Diet Pepsi?'”

The wifey said: “Suppose you can’t ask.”

“Easy! I’d say what the drinks are and put them in the middle for them to take the drink they ordered!”

“Well, let’s suppose you can’t do that either.”

“That’s easy! I’d commit suicide!”

Yes, I’m not the biggest fan of hypothetical scenarios, and by the end of this post I suspect you won’t be, either.

Hypothetical scenarios are useful to isolate a particular issue so it can be understood more fully, and they are enormously useful in education.

Rather than mention a particular political incident, where people can be distracted by the details, you present a hypothetical scenario so you can discuss the role of an ideal government, for example.

It is also very common to use hypothetical scenarios when exploring moral questions, or for preparing responses to situations you are likely to face in the future.

The problem is when you apply the same hypothetical thinking to address real-life problems.

Hypothetical scenarios involve context-dropping, where you don’t consider the specifics of a situation, but its general description.

In real-life, the specifics matter. You think within the context of your life.

You don’t ignore details or try to think of how someone might tackle the problems you’re facing, without taking all the relevant details of your life into consideration.

For example, suppose you are looking for a job in the IT field. How would you do it?

You can use job boards, go to a career office, approach companies, or ask the people you know.

If you say to yourself: “But what if I don’t find anything in the job boards?” before you even search them, you know that hypothetical thinking has damaged your brain.

Why? Because you’re trying to plan for something that doesn’t exist in your life, while overlooking the opportunity you have in front of you.

You think that’s bad? Most of us go a step further. We don’t ask the people we know for help!

Why? Because in the back of our minds we say to ourselves: “But what if I didn’t know these people? How would I be able to get a job by myself?”

We form a very generic, universal scenario in our head that’s meant to encompass the whole of humanity and then ask: “How would I function then?”

But you never live in a universal scenario.

Your life is made up of details that you don’t share with anyone else.

There are similarities with other people, of course. But you can’t overlook the unique elements that form your life while trying to make a decision.

My wifey’s hypothetical scenario would never exist in the real world, so why bother searching for an answer to such a scenario? Why can’t I ask the women who ordered what? Why can’t I put the drinks in the middle?

In many ways, we unnecessarily restrict our options because we’re thinking hypothetically.

Don’t think about the people that are in the worst possible situations (physical disability, abusive father, no family or friends, in huge debt, under a corrupt regime, etc), then live your life according to their situation. Accept the opportunities you have, as well as your own limits.

For every goal you wish to achieve, look at the resources available to you and only you. Then look at the resources available to those in your neighborhood, your country, your region.

Embrace the details that make up your life.

Don’t imagine life in other people’s shoes. Live in your own.