Category: General

Words can have an enormous influence on the way we think, how we feel, what we value and a string of other effects that we can harness to lead a great life. Not all words or statements or poems are created equally. Some can have destructive effects and others constructive ones. All to varying degrees.

But there’s one poem that, for me, stands head and shoulders above all other poems. It’s very simple to read, has a melodic rhythm and is jam-packed full of meanings that help me move my life forward. I am sure it can have the same influence on you.

The poem is none other than “If” by Rudyard Kipling.

In this post I’d like to explore some of the meanings found in this poem and how relevant they are to our lives and our growth. But before I discuss parts of the poem, have a read of the entire poem, with all its wondrous glory:

IF you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,
And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream – and not make dreams your master;
If you can think – and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build ’em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: ‘Hold on!’

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with Kings – nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
And – which is more – you’ll be a Man, my son!

~ Rudyard Kipling

I must begin by pointing out that I’m not a literature student and I may not always interpret poems in the way the writer intended them to be interpreted. You may very well have a different interpretation to mine. If so, feel free to share your thoughts in the comments section!

Being Responsible

IF you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,

One of the most important qualities in life is being responsible.

Being responsible requires a high dosage of awareness and a conscious commitment to do the right thing, given the circumstances you are facing. The default response to challenges, however, is often to find someone to blame. Those who are blamed try to redirect the blame to someone else. And the vicious cycle of finger-pointing continues, without anyone willing to do the right thing.

No matter how involved people get in the circus of blame or how much they try to get you involved, keeping your focus on what needs to be done should be your ultimate priority. Don’t get distracted by the blamers.

Trusting Yourself

If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;

People are only aware of what you have done in the past, and judge you accordingly. The only person aware of your potential is you. When people doubt you, you can trust yourself, because you know something about you that they don’t.

You shouldn’t adopt their doubt because the doubters are many, or their evidence is sound. It’s sound because it’s true, but it’s only half the picture. The half that they are aware of. But you’re aware of the other half. The one they don’t have access to.

Rather than resent the doubters for doubting you, accept that it’s a fact that human beings are not omniscient. It’s perfectly acceptable for people to judge according to what they know. Don’t limit yourself to what others know and allow for their limits, but work according to the limits you are aware of and the potential you possess.

Patience Is A Virtue

If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,

Waiting isn’t a crime, or a waste of time (that rhymes, so it must be true!). It’s a fact of life that some things take time and don’t happen spontaneously or on a whim. Accepting the laws of nature makes patience as natural as breathing. It doesn’t take effort on your part as you struggle to accept that you need to wait.

Take a deep breath and don’t get frustrated because the universe doesn’t run according to your schedule.

Live By Your Principles

Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,

People lie. People hate. But these aren’t reasons why you should lie or hate. Let other people live according to their principles (or lack thereof), and you can live by your own principles. Just because people cheat doesn’t mean you should, also. People aren’t the standard of what you should and shouldn’t do.

Show A Part of Yourself

And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise:

You don’t want to boast about your principles, or show people how wrong or stupid they are. You want to live by your principles, and set an example for others to follow, should they choose to follow it. People shouldn’t sense that you are way better than them. That makes them feel insecure about themselves.

You don’t want to set a high benchmark for others that throws you way out of their league. You want to demonstrate an accessible example. This doesn’t mean that you pretend to be someone you’re not. It means that you don’t show all your qualities at one time, and to the degree that you possess them. Show aspects of yourself and to limited degrees. Based on the people you encounter and interact with.

If you’re a magnificent painter and an amateur painter comes to you for advice, don’t paint the Mona Lisa blindfolded, with one hand behind your back. Demonstrate how you would draw a sketch. Something accessible for the person you are interacting with.

Pursuing Your Dreams

If you can dream – and not make dreams your master;

Personal growth enthusiasts (and I assume you are one) have dreams. Dreams of achieving great things and growing as a person. A dream is something you have not yet attained. It is a desire and an expectation of something to realize in the future.

Having dreams is great. It gives you direction and determination. But it shouldn’t lead to an obsession that consumes your entire life and makes you lose sight of what you already have.

“Life passes most people by while they’re making grand plans for it.”
George, in the movie Blow

The Purpose of Thinking

If you can think – and not make thoughts your aim;

You don’t think for the sake of thinking. You think to get a better understanding of a situation (or a phenomena), in order to make better decisions and take more fruitful actions. Thinking for the sake of thinking (as well as reading for the sake of reading) is a mental disease, where people disconnect themselves from reality in order to pursue ideas for their own sake.

Knowledge is NOT power. You need to apply knowledge to serve you in life. Thinking is a means, not an end.

The Highs and Lows of Life

If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;

“Triumph” and “Disaster” are labels we attach to certain events. They involve an intellectual evaluation on our part, given our values and goals. Publishing a book can be a triumph for someone whose goal was to simply publish a book, but a disaster for someone who wanted it to reach the New York Times Best Seller list.

You shouldn’t simply see a triumph as a triumph, or a disaster as a disaster. We should learn from them equally, to the measure we succeed in each one, and the measure that we feel in each one. There are always lessons to learn from both, as well as the circumstances that have not earned either label. We shouldn’t allow the labels to distract us from the lessons we can learn.

Exploiting Your Good Works

If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,

There will always be people who exploit the good work others do. If you teach people to create a heaven on earth, you can almost guarantee that there will be people selling tickets for entry (with tickets at a higher price for VIP treatment). The best lies are those based on the highest degree of truth. The greatest crimes are often committed in the name of noble ideals.

But that doesn’t mean that you should never speak the truth, or never promote your ideals. What you do is your responsibility. What others do is theirs.

Purpose & Persistence

Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build ’em up with worn-out tools:

If you’ve dedicated your life to a cause, there’s no use in giving up on it, no matter how many setbacks you face along the way. As long as you can exert an effort in support of your cause, then you should exert it.

I absolutely love the expression: “worn-out tools.” The tools can be held up as evidence for the commitment and dedication already put in towards the cause. And rather than blame the condition of the tools for not continuing along the same path, they are recognized as symbols of your persistence.

Taking Risks

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;

Life is risky. You succeed one day, and fail the next. But the fact that risk exists isn’t a good reason to avoid it. You cannot avoid going a step forward because of the likelihood you will take a step back. Accepting the fact of risk in life helps us avoid experiencing frustration or regret about taking risky measures. And it stops us from daring to stop daring.

Strength & Willpower

If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: ‘Hold on!’

Your body is capable of much more than you give it credit for. But a huge portion of your strength is untapped. The key to unlocking your strength is the will to unleash it. We often hold ourselves back because we lack the will to push ourselves forward. Our physical body can do more, but our psychological outlook refuses to support it. If we truly want to push our limits, we must be willing to push our limits.

Social Circles

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with Kings – nor lose the common touch,

In life we interact with different people, with different values, living in different conditions. The ability to relate and connect with as many social circles widens our social relationships, and helps us expand our influence and reach. The more people you can bond with, the greater the good you can spread. If you disconnect or close yourself off from other people, you won’t be able to achieve as much as you would like.

You don’t want to be negatively influenced by any social circle you interact with. Instead, you want to be the positive influence, and the bridge between different groupings.

Dependence, Independence & Interdependence

If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;

You don’t want to depend on others or have others depend on you. You want to be able to contribute to other people’s well-being, while caring for your own well-being. Interaction amongst independent individuals (i.e. interdependence) allows for the greatest outcomes in life and society.

Don’t place yourself at the mercy of others, or have others place themselves at your mercy.

Value Time

If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,

Time is what you make of it. We all experience the same seconds, minutes and hours, but it’s what we do with our time that counts. The challenge is to make the most of our time, without pleading for more time. How best can you make the most use of your time? Live according to that.

Although it’s not mentioned in the poem, but I find it necessary to point something out: Most people interested in productivity and time management are actually struggling with productivity and time management. They don’t need to be told to value time. They already do, but don’t know how best to deal with the problem of not making the most use of their time. I would like to offer a mini piece of advice:

Time management requires the development of key skills, which you might not possess already. That’s fine, because they are skills you can learn. But they take some time to develop and get used to. If you’ve struggled to focus while working, you know that it’s not as easy as some writers make it out to be. But you shouldn’t be kicking yourself for not attaining perfect focus from day one. You are having unrealistic expectations of how skills are formed. They take time to develop and a great deal of patience and commitment. Give yourself a stretch of time to develop the skills you find necessary to be productive, without straining yourself against the laws of nature.

Man on Earth

Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
And – which is more – you’ll be a Man, my son!

We’re not “just human” or “only human.” Being human is a compliment. We’re not born human. We aspire to become human beings, expressing all the good we are able to express. Being human requires effort. Being human is determined by the strengths we possess and not the weaknesses we can overcome. It’s in actualizing our potential, not in ignoring it. In living consciously and exercising our free-will, not in dimming our consciousness and expecting others to make decisions for us.

What’s more, being fully human should be demonstrated in the way we lead our lives on earth. When we live morally, we will experience the greatest joys possible for us. Make the right choices, and develop positive characteristics and noble virtues, and you will experience their benefits here on Earth.

As you can see, the poem covers a great deal about life and what it means to be human. I find it extremely inspirational and a great reminder of the characteristics I wish to develop.

If you think the same way, or happen to disagree with me, I would love to hear from you!

There are three very distinct concepts that we tend to use interchangeably, while overlooking their differences. Distinct concepts don’t refer to the same thing. It should be obvious, but that, sadly, isn’t the case.

There are huge differences between what’s natural, what’s healthy and what’s normal.

If you don’t know the difference, you will in a few short minutes. 🙂

The Natural

This is a personal growth blog, so I won’t be talking much about the natural world (birds, bees, trees, planets, etc). I’m more concerned with what’s natural to human beings.

If you look at the people around you, or the stories you see on TV or the Internet, you will realize the broad spectrum of different ideas humans can hold, emotions they can experience and behaviors they can exhibit.

Some people believe in a realm beyond our own, while others believe that the material world is all that exists. Some can be calm and collected in the face of adversity, while others can collapse at the sight of impending danger. Some express kindness, while others exercise aggression. Some are athletic, while others are obese. And there’s a range of possibilities within each spectrum of human existence. The possible combinations are endless.

But all these possibilities – as long as they are possible to human beings – can be considered natural (unless, of course, they involve a mad scientist with monkey parts and a scalpel). Whatever human beings can experience is natural to being human. That includes health as well as illness.

Therefore, to say that “it’s only natural” that we eat A, B and C, or do X, Y and Z doesn’t offer a sound argument to follow such instructions. Because it’s possible doesn’t mean that it’s good for us.

That’s what the healthy defines.

The Healthy

The set of options that are life-affirming (i.e. good for us) belong to the subset of the healthy. The ideas that reflect an accurate understanding of the world, the emotions that lead to constructive action and the behaviors that ensure our well-being are all healthy.

These are the options we should pursue, and should gravitate towards. While not every action we carry out may be healthy, but we need to have a leaning towards healthier options in life.

The standard of the healthy is what satisfies our needs as human beings, without compromising any aspect of what makes us human.

What’s not a standard for the healthy and life-affirming is the example other people set. And certainly not what the majority of the people do.

That’s not healthy. That’s just normal.

The Normal

What’s common amongst a group of people is the normal. The ideas people are accustomed to, the reactions they experience and expect, the food they eat, the clothes they wear and everything that’s commonly accepted by a group (be it a household, a family, a neighborhood, a town, a nation, a civilization, etc) is the normal, within that group.

But the normal isn’t an indication of what we should do. In most cases, it indicates what we shouldn’t.

Not everyone takes personal growth seriously. The majority of people tend to prefer the easy route through life, which is paved with the wrong decisions.

You don’t want to belong to what’s normal. You want to lead a healthy life, in all aspects of life. That involves conscious living and being committed to making the right decisions in life. You don’t need people’s permission to be healthy.

That’s a decision for you to make on your own. But relying on the standards of the normal won’t get you there.

We often hear about defining moments that completely change a person and carve out a new path for him in life. And in hearing these stories, we often hope for such miraculous moments that would usher in great change in our lives, with little effort on our part.

But change isn’t always through a transformation. We can pave the way to great changes by making minor reformations in our lives.

Rather than doing away with junk food, we simply eat less of it, or introduce healthier foods into our diet.

Rather than dashing from the couch to join a marathon, we go on a casual stroll around the block.

Rather than try and reconnect with every single person we’ve ever met, we send off a couple of emails to old friends.

The possibilities of reformations are endless, and within reach.

We don’t have to wait for transformations to change our lives. We can take small steps (reformations) towards the life we want to lead.

Reformations usually don’t seem to move us far enough or fast enough towards our ideal life. But it’s better to make some progress in life than none at all.

And given the relationship between reformations and transformations, we are often missing out on potential transformations because we’re unwilling to make small reformations.

Reformations give us a sense of accomplishment, and rekindle our confidence in our abilities to make better choices and positive changes in our lives.

I’m not one to deny that transformations occur, nor do I want you to put all your hopes in experiencing a transformation. I believe we should embrace a transformation when it happens, and work towards it when it doesn’t. There’s no need to feel guilty if you don’t experience a transformation. Just go for the next best thing you can work on: a reformation.

Think of every area of your life: Spiritual, Intellectual, Psychological, Social, Professional, Recreational and Physical.

What minor reformation can you do in your life to help you progress in each area of your life? The size of the change doesn’t matter. You don’t know what leverage a small change can bring with it.

Give this a thought, then commit to your reformations.

You’ll soon realize their transformational power.

The sphere of personal development is full of ideas floating around and being adopted by different people.

Some ideas are more popular than others, and gaining popularity with time.

But their popularity isn’t an indication of how true and useful they are to their advocates.

Before I encourage an angry mob to gather at my doorstep, I have to make one thing clear: I don’t fully disagree with the ideas I’m about to criticize.

Each and every idea on the list below has a benefit to offer. However, from what I see, all these ideas are either taken to extremes or aren’t understood correctly by some of the people trying to live by them.

So, consider this list a warning signal for those who have yet to dive into the deep end of these ideas and a life vest for those already drowning there.

1- Follow Your Heart

An alternative way of saying this is: Follow your gut. But judging by what comes out of your gut, it should be clear that this isn’t sensible advice. 😛

To show you what’s wrong with this idea, let’s set the stage for when such advice is usually given: You are torn between two options. One has the full support of your mind and the other is what your heart leans towards. You feel you must follow the first option, but you really want to go with the second.

What do you do? What do you do?

Let’s add more detail to the story: Suppose you’re trying to lead a healthier lifestyle, but you’re really craving a donut. Should you go with your urges, or look for a healthy alternative?

The example above offers a crucial lesson when trying to live according to such ideas as “follow your heart”: In what context is it the right thing to do?

When you lack information about a set of options, the most sensible thing to do might be to acquire more information rather than go with what feels right to you at the time. If you’re pressed for time, then going by gut feelings can be a reasonable approach to breaking out of a dilemma.

But we can’t assume that anything our hearts tell us to do is right for us, especially if we haven’t taken the time or effort to condition our feelings to truly express what’s good for us. In other words, feelings can be powerful indicators of what our true needs are, which our conscious thoughts might be ignoring. They can also offer expression to the wisdom of our subconscious, which tends to pick up on and processes facts that our conscious mind is too dumb or distracted to notice.

“Follow your heart” is not an absolute principle to be adhered to at all times and in all circumstances. Your mind is usually a better indicator of what path you should pursue, even if that doesn’t sound too fluffy and romantic.

2- We’re Human Beings, Not Human Doings

The idea that you should appreciate the stillness of your existence, without the need to do anything to be happy is contrary to human nature. While you may find happiness by appreciating what you currently have and who you currently are, I would bet that that’s not a healthy form of happiness.

So there’s healthy and unhealthy happiness, now?

Of course!

Happiness is an emotional state you experience, but you can experience it for different reasons. Not all reasons to be happy are life-affirming (i.e. good for you). Evading responsibility and limiting consciousness can very well result in a sense of happiness. You basically choose to look away from your problems and imagine scenes and events that incite the feeling of happiness. That’s not a responsible way to live and certainly won’t lead to long-term, healthy happiness.

Trying to be happy while ignoring the need for action – and acknowledging its role in our happiness – is unnatural and unhealthy. Human beings need to do. That’s why we have limbs to do stuff. Our bodies weren’t designed for meditative postures (though they can benefit from them).

A huge chunk of our happiness comes from interacting with reality and feeling a sense of competence that we can set our minds to something and achieve it. We can get the results we want by taking the right actions. If we don’t get the results we want, we can adjust our actions and readjust until we discover the right ways of interacting with reality and discovering the needed skills for success. When babies learn to crawl they learn how it should be done, as well as develop the skill to do it. That results in a sense of accomplishment and healthy happiness.

“Doing” is a natural extension of “Being”. If you are a kind person, then you will behave in ways that express your kindness. Without doing, you aren’t being. Without showing compassion, you aren’t being compassionate.

Therefore, rather than pit “Being” and “Doing” against each other, we should learn to embrace both dimensions of what makes us human, and strive to better them both.

3- It’s Wrong To Be Selfish

This idea is usually expressed in the following way: “You’re being selfish! That’s sick! You’re putting your interests before mine! I hate you!”

I’ll be blunt: Selflessness is hypocrisy, but with good PR.

Anyone who condemns you for being selfish is usually disappointed for not having their own selfish wants satisfied through your selfless sacrifices. Do you smell the foul stench of hypocrisy?

OK, let’s be clear about one thing: Expecting others to make sacrifices for you is a bad thing. Having people pursue their own interests at your expense – with total disregard for your well-being – is a terrible thing. Thinking that making other people happy will somehow compromise your own happiness is a crime against humanity. If that’s what selfishness is, then it’s wrong.

But pursuing your own well-being isn’t wrong. It’s the only way for human beings to act responsibly. Your well-being is YOUR responsibility and no one else’s. Expecting others to put your well-being before their own is not only irresponsible but a crime against human nature and all that is good in the world. But that’s what selflessness demands: putting other people’s interests before your own. Looking at it from the opposite end: Demanding that other people put YOUR interests before their own!

Selflessness does not involve mutual gain. There’s always a winner and a loser.

But there is healthy selfishness, where you pursue your own well-being and seek to contribute to other people’s well-being (since that sets a standard for others to follow). You are never expected to make sacrifices. Only contributions. For mutual benefit. Where everyone is happy, and there’s no demand for sacrificial offerings.

4- Negative Emotions Are Bad

The whole idea that you have to be happy and positive all the time is contrary to human nature.

You have the capacity to experience negative emotions for a reason. That’s because negative emotions can be good for you. They make you aware of a problem area in your life that needs your attention. Trying to ignore your negative emotions, or condemning yourself for experiencing them isn’t the way to go. Addressing the problem that triggered your negative emotions is what you should be focusing on. Negative emotions are the symptoms of a problem, and can motivate you to address that problem. But trying to rid yourself of the emotions themselves will only bring temporary relief, and in an unhealthy way.

Of course, having a disposition towards negative emotions isn’t a good thing. Negative emotions are only healthy to the right degree and for the right reasons. Going into depression for a year because somebody didn’t like a painting you made might not be the right approach to take.

You want to embrace the fact that you can experience negative emotions, and make the most out of them to move your life forward. You’ll be going in the wrong direction if you simply try to run away from them.

5- Live In The Moment

One of the greatest ideas I have come to embrace recently is to live in the moment. It’s such a simple, yet powerful idea.

We’re often caught up in our thinking, and worrying about future events that we rob ourselves of the joy we can experience now. Living in the moment is about connecting with your current context and circumstances, and truly appreciating what they have to offer. When you’re reading a book, you’re reading a book. You’re not thinking about the report you have to write or the emails you have to send or the phone calls you have to make. You’re reading now, so enjoy the experience and the moment.

Thinking about past or future events will only create frustration and anxiety, as you struggle to control events beyond your control. But by focusing on the present, on the situation you are facing in the moment, you can direct your energies on the matters you do have control over and the circumstances you can alter. That’s when you can live your life to the fullest.

So why is this such a bad idea?

Well, if you completely ignore your past, or fail to plan for the future, then you’ll likely face a heap of problems that can very well ruin your life. The issues you’re struggling with now may stem from a past incident you need to acknowledge first, before you can move beyond it. Trying to focus on the present while ignoring your past is only an evasion that will come back to haunt you.

In addition, your present actions need to take you in the direction you would like to head in. Big projects can’t be completed in one day, let alone a single sitting. You have to plan them out over a stretch of time. If you refuse to think ahead because that’s not how you roll, then the idea of living in the moment won’t serve you in the ways you expect it to.

It’s crucial that we embrace the idea of living in the moment with the right frame of mind, without dismissing our past and our future, and the attention they deserve.

6- Be Yourself

Before you strive to be yourself, ask yourself this simple question: Who are you?

OK, I admit. The answer isn’t so simple. Neither is the question. Which goes to show, neither is the idea.

What do you you identify yourself with? Are you the clothes you wear? The ideas you hold? The people you hang around with? The interests you have?

If any of these things changed, would you be a different person and, therefore, going against the idea of “being yourself”?

The danger that comes with trying to “be yourself” is identifying with traits that are often damaging to your well-being. You may have heard people say: “You have to accept me for who I am.” But does this mean that they can’t change, or overcome their weaknesses? If somebody you know is consistently rude and abusive to you, do you have to accept them and encourage them to be themselves?

The point isn’t to identify with your current traits. Personal growth is about growing beyond your weaknesses and towards your strengths.

But “being yourself” is extremely important in life, as long as we understand it in a way consistent with our well-being.

We can never live according to the convictions of others, or in pursuit of their ambitions. We need to think for ourselves and lead our own lives. We can never imitate the behaviors of others, if these behaviors don’t stem from the personal values we hold and are an expression of the person we would like to be.

We don’t have to live to the expectations and standards people have of us, if we don’t wish to live to these expectations or want to conform to these standards. We have to exercise our ability to choose the values we want to live by, rather than mimic the lives of others.

You are not the shadow of somebody else, so don’t live like one.

7- You Create Your Own Reality

Probably the most damaging idea to ever disgrace personal growth literature, and to cripple the efforts of so many people, without them realizing.

You don’t create reality, you interact with it. You don’t create gravity, you become aware of it.

We use our senses to gain raw data about the world in which we live, use our minds to make sense of the data and use our bodies to respond to the data.

“Create your own reality” follows a very different process than the “interact with reality” model.

When you want to create your own reality, you assume that you already know all that there is to know about the world you wish to create and that the creative process is simply your will: you will things to be, and they become! When you fail to get the results you want, you force yourself to strengthen your will and purify your intentions. After all, your reality is a creation of your mind.

If you want success, then you have to consciously create it. Not pursue it. That’s so objective and boring. You’re a god. You create. You will things into existence. You don’t stoop to the level of learning and doing. That’s for the silly unenlightened folk, who have toil and work to achieve their success.

But the “interact with reality” model, on the other hand, isn’t as creative. It tells you that the world is governed by natural laws, which your will is unable to bend, no matter how hard you try. It even complicates the process of creation. It says that you must first understand how the world operates, and then use your understanding to create. But that involves effort, and is slightly demeaning. Plus, what happens if your understanding isn’t accurate, according to the world you live in? You would have to let go of false ideas about the world, and be willing to learn and embrace a new understanding, based on your interaction with reality.

Zzzzzzzzzzzz…

As dull as the “interact with reality” model may sound, it’s the one that works. The Wright Brothers didn’t invent the airplane by sitting down and consciously creating their invention with the power of their thoughts. They had to build a model. Test it out. See it fail. Determine the cause of failure. Build a new model based on their observations. Test it out. See it fail, and continue to witness failure after failure before they developed the right understanding of how airplanes are supposed to operate, given the laws of nature they have to deal with.

Those who promote the idea that you create your own reality and that there’s no such thing as objective reality often speak about the “laws of the universe” or the “law of attraction”, which applies to everybody, regardless of the type of reality they wish to create. In other words, the laws they set about creating your reality is objective. The content you create within that reality is subjective. But even then, they still rely heavily on an objective reality model. Steve Pavlina didn’t simply create his online success by subjectively creating his reality, even if that’s the explanation he offers on his blog. He had to understand what makes a blog successful, and use that understanding to his advantage. He constantly mentions the need to have a more accurate model of the world.

If you’re creating your own reality, what’s the benchmark for accuracy?

Each one of us sees the world through his or her own perspective, which is conditioned by one’s beliefs, experiences, reasoning and feelings. But that does not negate the fact that we live in an objective reality, and must strive to develop a more accurate understanding of how the world operates, in order to take the most effective actions possible by us.

There are a few more ideas I can think of that have the power to ruin people’s lives, but will leave them for another post. Feel free to share your own thoughts on the subject, and offer your own contribution to the list.

If you happen to disagree with what I’ve said, then I’d love to hear from you! 😀