Category: General

Unfortunately, the line between your convictions and other people’s convictions is often blurred.

You may feel obliged to accept other people’s convictions, or demand that they accept yours.

This problem can halt your progress in life, since you can’t move a step forward with your own convictions when there’s someone, somewhere who happens to disagree with you.

Others may tell you that you can’t achieve your goals. And rather than focus your time, energy and attention on your goals, you dedicate yourself to changing their convictions to match yours.

Then, and only then, will you give yourself permission to move towards your goals.

But the fact is, you don’t have to convince others to accept your convictions.

All you have to do is live according to your own convictions.

The world makes sense to you according to how you see it, and you should act according to that understanding. You can’t take action according to other people’s understanding of the world, be they your parents, friends, managers, or any authority figure.

Think of every goal that you have, and whether you’ve attached a “yes, but Person X doesn’t believe I can do it/think it’s right/cares about this” to that goal. If you have, then you’re living your life through someone else’s convictions.

Remind yourself that you have a mind of your own, and that you should respect your own convictions, as well as give others the space to form their own convictions, without them defining how you will live your life.

One of the unhealthiest ways you can approach life is as a spectator.

Rather than live life, you observe it.

You offer a commentary on the world, without taking part in it.

You don’t make any decisions, so as not to suffer the consequences of bad judgments.

You don’t expose yourself to criticism or subject yourself to ridicule.

You play it safe, and direct your attention to other people’s problems and accomplishments, while overlooking your own.

If you’ve been finding it difficult to apply what you learn from personal growth literature in your own life, then it’s highly likely that you’re functioning in a spectator mode.

You’re busy learning about life, but distance yourself from it.

You want to know, but not apply.

To change your life and reach your goals, you must change your mode of operation.

Instead of being a spectator of life, you must become a participant in it.

Instead of asking: “What can I learn?” you should ask: “How can I apply what I learn?”

Instead of asking: “What could he have done differently?” you should ask: “What can I do better?”

Don’t sit in the sidelines admiring other people’s accomplishments or mocking them for their shortcomings.

Direct your attention towards developing your own character, improving your own life and giving your knowledge practical expression through your own actions.

All you need to exercise is your body.

There, I said it.

You don’t need gym membership, or an exercise partner, or the right shoes, or any equipment whatsoever.

I would even say that you don’t need extra time to exercise, since you can incorporate exercise routines in your daily activities.

Don’t get me wrong. You can get better results by using better resources, but you don’t need these resources to get some results.

I’m only using exercise as an example of one ingenious way we tend to come up with excuses.

We focus solely on a single “missing ingredient” and believe that nothing can be accomplished without it.

“Where in God’s name am I supposed to exercise if I don’t have gym membership? The MOON!?”

“What kind of a writer would I be if I don’t have a Moleskine notebook?”

“This Internet connection is SOO slow! I can’t do anything!”

That missing ingredient occupies all our attention and becomes an obsession that we can’t look beyond. Our goal no longer becomes exercising, or writing, or working, but getting gym membership, buying a Moleskine, or subscribing to a faster Internet connection.

And once that missing ingredient is acquired, you realize that there’s another missing ingredient you just can’t function without.

You’ll never have all resources at your disposal. There’s always something out there that can improve your results. But you need to work on getting some results now and make progress towards better results.

What resources do you already possess and can make use of? Focus on utilizing what you already have, before you set your sights on what you think you need to make progress.

Some progress with imperfect tools is better than no progress while desperately searching for the perfect tools.

Personal growth literature is, in many ways, a collection of remedies.

To know which remedy you should take, you need to carry out a proper diagnosis.

What works for others may not work for you, simply because you’re experiencing the same symptoms, but suffering from an entirely different condition.

This is why you need to be very selective about the advice you follow, and not to put your hopes up that you will experience the exact same successes others have experienced by following the steps they’ve taken.

One such step is public accountability. Many personal growth writers swear by its effectiveness and encourage their readers to put themselves “out there” in order to experience growth, but my own experiences are just the opposite.

Whenever I publicly announce a goal I almost always fail to meet it. Having others know about your goals can put you under pressure, but it depends on you whether it’s the good kind of pressure or not.

Do you find the thought of public accountability distracting? Does it make you panic? Does it encourage negative feedback?

Does it excite you? Does it make you feel more committed? Does it attract positive feedback?

There’s no way of saying that public accountability is universally good or bad. It depends on your own circumstances and how you feel towards it.

If it does put you under pressure, then don’t announce your New Year’s resolutions to the world.

Keep them a secret (at least for now). You may feel much more comfortable letting other people know what you’ve been up to after getting some results you’re proud of revealing rather than have others question your chances of success when you’re empty-handed.

I have some goals that seem too far-fetched and idealistic that I don’t share with others. By keeping some goals private, I allow myself to explore these goals further, without having to explain myself to others or be under their watchful eye.

Decide which goals you are comfortable sharing publicly and which goals you wish to keep private, and be aware of the influence public accountability has on your performance..

There is something I haven’t quite understood about New Year’s resolutions.

What do they actually mean?

Suppose you’ve clarified your resolutions for the upcoming year and know exactly what you want.

Do you expect to make a complete transformation as soon as the clock strikes 12? Do you expect to achieve your goals within the year, or at the end of it?

This is an extremely important point to clarify as it will define the expectations you will attach to your resolutions.

If you don’t believe that you will go through a transition phase, where you haven’t completely achieved your goals but are in the process of getting there, then you might give up on your goals prematurely.

You would admit failure only because you thought that everything in your life will change by January.

Hoping to reach your goals by the end of the year is no good, either. Although you’re giving yourself more time to reach your goals, you may end up putting off what you need to do to reach your goals, since you think you have a WHOLE 12 months to work with!

As you’ve probably realized by now, months and years tend to pass by very quickly, especially when you’re postponing the important things in your life.

So how should you approach your resolutions? And when should you expect to see the results you want?

It’s very difficult to estimate when you’ll get the results you want, but you can take an approach that allows you to celebrate your successes and helps you achieve better results.

There are 3 steps to follow:

1- Focus on spending your day in the best way possible: Trying to think of too many days ahead (let alone an entire year) will dilute the attention you’ll give to your day, where change can happen. As much as you can plan for the days ahead, it’s what you do right now that matters towards achieving your goals.

By focusing on what you can do with your day, you won’t feel regret if you don’t achieve your goals “on time” because you know you’ve done what you can.

Remember you’re only working with one day, so you can’t cram in it more than can be done in a day. Don’t force an entire project into a day, when it’s more likely that you can only commit 2 hours of your day.

Don’t expect to run a marathon every day, when it’s more likely that you can only exercise for an hour a day.

Each day, plan what can be done in that day, and adjust it according to your commitments and the circumstances you’ll be facing. But make sure that the day contributes to a transition towards your goals.

2- Look for leverage points: You won’t have perfect days, especially not at first, because an efficient use of your time requires a set of skills that you need to develop. And it’s OK that you don’t possess these skills right now. After all, you’re undergoing a transition, and you can’t expect to achieve perfection overnight.

The best way to accelerate your progress is identifying the factors that can greatly impact your performance. These can be weaknesses or “problem areas” that you need to work on, or strengths you possess that you need to harness.

If your work is being compromised by distractions, lack of clarity about what you need to do, lack of support, and a host of other reasons, pick out the most influential factor you can work on. The factor you expect to get you the greatest results with the least effort. That’s a leverage point.

You can’t work on everything, so you might as well work on what gets you the best* results possible, where you are, with what you have.

* Aiming for the “best” results or the “most important” factor can be a tricky thing, since you might spend a great deal of time trying to figure out what is the best or most important. I’ve spent a billion hours (or so) looking for the BEST productivity system, while ignoring the work I want to get done and overlooking better approaches available to me. The point is to identify the most important leverage point, given what you now know, and work with that.

3- Evaluate your performance: At the end of each day, look back on what you did, and identify the ways you can improve for the next day. Again, don’t think too far ahead. Focus on making tomorrow better than today.

How did you spend your day? What could you have done differently? What might you want to focus on more? What changes can you think of making to your day? How does your day make you feel? What can you shift around in your schedule to get better results?

By allowing a transition towards your goals and focusing on the best use of your day, you will have a more realistic take on achieving your resolutions, and will spend the time you truly need to get to where you want to go.

Without setting high expectations, or distant hopes that you will work on your resolutions someday in the months ahead.

You’ll be making use of what you have, and developing the skills you need to make better progress in the days ahead.